This book came at the right time for me to receive it. Its hard to ignore your thoughts when you’re stuck at home with them for months. And its even harder to describe how much this book means to me in a single post.
I went to therapy in high school to help me process my childhood trauma of witnessing a parent go through aggressive brain cancer, its treatment — and against statistics — survive. I wasn’t allowed to talk about it outside the house, so starting at 8 years old, I’ve lived a double life with everything seeming fine on the outside.
What I didn’t realize is how this double life would manifest as I became an adult hiding behind my career, especially as the medical traumas haven’t ended. I’ve cradled my dad in my arms on the floor as he’s having a seizure, waiting for the paramedics, only to fly back to LA that afternoon to start a new job the next day. I’ve gotten the call on a Friday to get on the next flight home to make it in time to say goodbye; only to pull through, fly back to LA, and do a presentation in front of hundreds of people that Monday.
This book helped me to not resent that my family dealt with this in the way that was passed down to them by their parents, and I want to respect the privacy that makes them comfortable for their lives. But this book showed me how to release the pain and shame; I can’t change my childhood and I don’t have to be defined by it. It’s impacted my ability to get close to people, to ‘be myself’, and how I’ve projected these emotions onto those who have actually become close to me, sabotaging many relationships.
Lori’s book was a crash course in adult therapy. I feel like a new person — more personally and emotionally available. And I’m so excited for what the future holds! “Sometimes we have the key to a better life but need somebody to show us where we left the damn thing.”